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Video Transcript
This transcript has been edited for clarity and length.
Hey, everyone, it’s me Lindsey. A lot of times when I post videos, they’re more informational or how-to, but I wanted to share a story with you about something that happened to me. Because I think it really relates to how we view our own projects, the things we like crochet or knit or sew, and a way to reframe your thoughts around your projects when you’re maybe not quite thrilled with how it turned out.
So, a long long time ago the crochet Guild of America had a design contest, and you could send in an item that you had created and designed. They had judging and prizes and everything. I submitted a bag I had made, and it got honorable mention in that category, and I was super stoked. I wanted to do something even bigger and more amazing, so I decided I was going to make a cardigan.
I had a vision. I knew what this awesome piece was going to look like. I knew what yarn I wanted to use. I contacted the yarn company; they agreed to supply the yarn. It was going to be a cardigan, worked top down but instead of baggy raglin sleeves it was going to have set in sleeves worked from the top down. It would have contrasting colored bands, and an opening in the middle for an open cardigan, maybe some beaded detail. I was super stoked, and excited about this project.
You know what it’s like you’re starting a new project, and you’re super super excited. And then you get into it, and it’s hard. Especially when you’re not following a pattern, because you’re making it up yourself. So I started working on it, and I was making progress but it just wasn’t looking as great as I had hoped. It had the bands and sleeves were working but it looked kind of plain. I couldn’t get the beaded detailing to work out. I decided the gap in the front was too large, but I didn’t have enough time to restitch it. I decided to put some embroidery on it. Turns out embroidery is super hard. By the time I finished that cardigan, I don’t think I actually cried, but I kind of wanted to cry or crawl into a hole and disappear. I was embarrassed. The yarn company had provided the yarn, so I felt like I should still send it so that they get the name recognition of their yarn’s name being announced.
I sent the cardigan in, and I checked, and of course I didn’t place. I didn’t win anything. Part of the arrangement was that they would ship my project back to me. The box came, I opened it and verified that that’s what it was, and I stuck it on a shelf in the basement in my craft area. I was so embarrassed. I felt so bad about the cardigan that I didn’t even want to look at it. It has literally been on my shelf in the basement for over a decade.
Throughout the years, when I go down the basement to get stuff, occasionally I’m looking around, and I see the box. “Oh there’s a box. Oh it has the cardigan.” And I feel bad because the cardigan wasn’t good.
Fast forward to this past summer. One of the things I like to do after one of the major trade shows, is get together with a group of designer friends. We all get together, and spend a day together afterwards to just decompress from the show floor and talk about everything we saw. We catch up, because we don’t see each other in person that much.
One of the people at this gathering was the main woman who had helped volunteer for the design competition with the setup and everything. We were sitting around chitchatting and talking about every random topic under the sun, and the Crochet Guild of America came up as well as the fact that she had managed the design competition. She was sitting there talking about the logistics of setting up the competition, and she said “I still remember that great cardigan you sent in”. I looked at her and said, “I’m sorry?” (I couldn’t believe my ears.) She continued “Yeah that cardigan you sent in that one time, that was gorgeous. I remember I was putting it up on like the mannequin. It was anonymous for voting. I was like who designed this. The finishing was fabulous. I looked afterwards, and I saw it was you.”
After she said that I asked, “are you like, really, you’re serious?” For the past years I have been living my life ashamed of that cardigan, with that box of cardigan shame in my basement, and she has been walking around for the past years occasionally remembering Lindsey made that gorgeous, beautiful cardigan. My gosh. It blew my mind.
If you make anything crocheted, knit, sewn, needle point, you know that when you’re in the middle of the project you’re super focused and you start judging your work. You can get really down on yourself, because you don’t see it as being as wonderful as it really is.
What this experience has reminded me about is that when I look at something I made, and when you look at something you made, it’s very easy to focus on the one flaw or on the one problem. You get stuck on “this whole thing is horrible because of this one little issue”, but there is someone else out there who will think your work is amazing, and who knows that what you made is beautiful.
I’m sharing this story with you because I want to give you the reminder, and the permission to remind yourself, that the stuff you make is beautiful even if it does have a mistake, even if it didn’t turn out exactly 100% the way you wanted it. Give yourself permission to reframe your view of your work so that when your brain starts popping up with that negative self-talk such as “I’m horrible at crochet because I made this, I made a mistake, and it’s got a wonky edge”, reframe it as “I made something, I made something beautiful, and it has a part of me in it – the part that was done exactly, and the part that was flawed, and that is part of the beauty of handmade things”. And that’s part of the beauty that you can create.
part of the beauty of handmade things
